All I Have

Anyone who knows me knows that I love Jennifer Lopez with every part in me. In some ways, it’s what I’m known for. So because of that, I am asked why Jennifer Lopez? What makes her so special?

My typical answers go like, “She makes me happy,” or “I don’t remember a time that I didn’t love JLo.”

But she’s so much more.

I only have a handful of memories of my mom, and a good amount of them involve Jen. My most vivid memory is sitting in my favorite worn out, brown recliner that had a syrup stain on the right arm from me eating waffles. In this recliner, I sat in my mom’s lap with my portable cd player with the “This Is Me…Then” album in it. I begged my mom if we could listen to the sixth song, “All I Have” one more time before I had to go to bed. Once it was over, I kissed mama, jumped off her lap, and walked to my bedroom sad that I had to leave mom and sad I couldn’t continue to listen to Jennifer Lopez.

Another memory is when there was a twenty-four-hour marathon of Jennifer Lopez music videos playing on television. This was the time before Youtube and instantly having music videos at your command, so it was a big deal when Mom recorded all of those music videos on VHS tapes. Which at the end there were three tapes full of videos. She recorded them because she knew I’d want them and love them and of course, play them 24/7 and reenact the videos in our dining room.

The third memory that I have is laying in my mom’s queen-sized, water bed discovering the movie, “Selena.” I was alone, and honestly, I have no idea where Mom was. Probably in the living room watching something with Aunt Debbie. I remember laying on mom’s side of the bed, feeling big and accomplished. The end scene of “Selena” was playing when Mom walked in saying, “What are doing on my side?” I smiled and at that moment nothing else in the world mattered besides Mom and me.

Ever since I have carried JLo with me.

Maybe it’s because she’s the only thing that has always made me happy through all of the pain. To this day, I can be sobbing and see Jen’s face and at least for a moment I forget about the pain.

She is one of the hardest working people, pushing me to continue my dreams and to never let them go. She makes me proud to be a woman and a woman of curves at that. She is a huge reason why I am now proud of my body even if it isn’t always the ideal body in today’s society.

She inspires me to be a better and kinder person. No matter how big she gets, she’s “Jenny from the Block,” never forgetting where she comes from.

Today, July 24th, Jennifer Lynn Lopez turns 50.

I could write a book about Jen and what she means to me. I know for one thing, I wouldn’t be alive right now if it wasn’t for her. She has been my normal in my rollercoaster of a life.

I was beyond blessed to see her live in Chicago last month and I am still in awe that I was in the same room as the queen herself. I went with my friend Stephen who loves her almost as much as me. I vlogged part of the trip, so if you wanna see our crazy selves you can.