You Are My Family

I watch Chicago PD, well only the seasons with Sophia Bush. Chicago PD gives me Shades of Blue vibes. Both shows have a lead female who came from trouble who were “saved” by the head sergeant. In ways, they were a surrogate father for these women. These men and those around them became their family.

A family doesn’t have to be blood. I asked Siri what the definition of family was and one definition was, “a group of people united in criminal activity.” When you’re picking your family make sure they’ll be there for you to hide a body.

Though there are many things from my four and a half years of college that I wish I could give back like all of my student debt. I also gained family through people I never thought would mean much to me. Which is a reason in itself to not assume or judge others.

People don’t have to choose to be there for you. People don’t have to choose to listen. People can choose to leave you at any time. That’s what makes relationships so scary and loving someone so scary. That’s also what makes a family.

Though it can very much happen with blood family, friends who become family come from different backgrounds. Friends also get to choose to become family. Maybe that’s why it’s easier for me to be me with those who aren’t blood.

College roommates can either be the best or worst thing. Both of mine surprised me in some of the most unexpected ways. My freshman roommate and I were paired up randomly. We maybe had three actual conversations the entire year we shared a room. We both came from different backgrounds and were just young in different ways which made it rough at times. I wouldn’t have ever expected to still talk to her yet have her be a positive support.

Then by default when you’re best friends and roommates with someone they get to know pretty much everything about you especially when it’s essentially for nearly three years. I don’t think there are many people who know me better than my second roommate if anyone. She’s seen just about every side of me and never turned away. With not seeing her in almost a year (the longest we’ve ever gone since we met) I’ve learned just how much she means to me. I know with me when I get close to someone, I can tend to not control my feelings all of the time and let my snappy human side out. Through it all we need each other, and I think that is what’s kept our bond. Plus, her parents kinda love me.

This summer I truly learned that how long you know someone doesn’t mean a thing. I’ve also learned just how perfect timing can be. God brought two souls together who needed each other more than they realized. She’s the one who isn’t afraid to question me and hold me accountable. The one who understands and supports my creative side because she has one too. The one who includes me in the littlest ways that make me feel special and loved. The one who quickly became one of my truest friends and family.

The person who is in a way my “sergeant” aka the bearded guy. The man who kept me from completely losing myself more than either one of us realized. The man who I get my fatherly advice from. The advice that I may not always love to hear, but know I need to hear. I probably could write a book about how great of a man my sergeant is not only with me but with so many others. I love watching him (in a non-creepy way) be a father to his actual children. I know I only get to see a fraction of who he is, but just a fraction of him is better than so many other people as a whole. I didn’t realize just how much I needed to see a good man until he came along.

These people chose to take a chance on me. The people who are teaching me indirectly and directly how to be a functioning human. I get to witness what it’s like to be a part of a family whether it be for Thanksgiving or Christmas or just a random trip to the city. I look at them and see what’s “wrong” with me in the sense of my trauma. I can forget that my life isn’t normal, and in order to heal I need to change some of my “normal.” Which let’s be honest it is not an easy thing at all and can really put you through the wringer.

But through it all you are my family.