Letting Go

Words are said.

The feeling of being overlooked and not heard. Being compared to things you are not. Words that weren’t meant to harm but did.

Words that the brain replays over and over until you can’t focus on anything else. Wanting to rip out all of the hair on your head. Wanting to scream until you can’t anymore. Crying until you fall asleep. In search of something to take away the feeling of being nothing to others. Being empty.

Going back to old habits to feel a sense of comfort to then remember why you broke them.

The words replaying in your head aren’t doing anyone good, especially you. Words that aren’t even being thought about by the person who said them. Why let them control you?

Marking each time someone says something to you that makes you question everything. Is it is worth trying to invest in the relationship if they aren’t showing it on their side? Should you speak up? Maybe. Would it make a difference? Maybe. What if it makes it worse? We don’t need to make things harder than they already are. Let’s go back to our safe spot and replay words that only harm. We could try turning the words off and risk turning ourselves off in the process. Life was easier last time that happened. Not easier for those around though.

We could choose to let go of those words.

Yes, replaying words and believing them brings some comfort. The comfort of what we know and have become accustomed to. The thing is we weren’t meant to be comfortable. No matter how much we want it and even may need it.

It is hard to let go of words and all that comes with those words. It forces us to walk towards the unknown. The unknown of happiness. What’s that? The ability to trust others. We don’t want to do that. We got hurt last time and barely survived.

That’s life.

What makes a difference in life is whether we let the words stay or let them go.